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THE Amicable Divorce Expert, Judith Weigle, shares her insights and experiences in divorce mediation and communication, helping thousands of couples accomplish the near impossible, amicable divorces.
Episodes
Wednesday Jul 05, 2023
Wednesday Jul 05, 2023
In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:
- People feel out of control during divorce. (Expand)
- People need to know how to incorporate the work that is required of them in the filing process, and in the decision-making process. Compartmentalizing time is the way to deal with divorce IF you absolutely have to work.
- If you have the luxury of not having to work, then make divorce your job and focus your attention on getting everything necessary for the divorce to move forward expeditiously.
- We are a culture that supports and glorifies multi-tasking. Multi-tasking divorce into daily routines will make you sick and potentially cause severe illness. Multi-tasking is the last behavior that should be accepted. Separating everything necessary to deal with the legal side of divorce properly, with a clear mind and a calm heart is the only way to properly address the process of divorce.
- Choose divorce professionals who understand and support the separation of your daily lives from your divorce life. Here’s what I mean…Look at the time you have available outside of your jobs and outside of the schedules for your children for you to complete paperwork, go to mediations, engage in depositions, go to Hearings and Depositions, and any other meetings necessary for the divorce to move forward, and schedule those free times and/or personal days from work, to focus on the divorce. The operative word being focus. Good divorce decisions require nothing less than focus; focus of the mind, of the heart, and of the emotions. When we try and multi-task the divorce stuff into our regular daily stuff, we cannot give divorce stuff the correct focus and attention that it needs to be lasting and appropriate for your lives, especially once the divorce is final. People experience decision-makers remorse because their decisions were made too hastily.
- Put a schedule together that allows you to work without interruption, that gives you valuable time with your children and all of the activities in their lives, and that provides for exercise and alone time. Look at the remaining time and that’s what you assign for divorce work. Then share that schedule with your divorce professionals, and stick to it. Return emails, phone calls, and paperwork in the time assigned for divorce.
- The only fly in the ointment of your well-crafted schedule will be Hearings, Depositions, a few meetings with those filing for you, and Mediations, The court isn’t opened on weekends, so personal time from work will have to be taken. If you share that you’re going through a divorce with either your Human Resources department, or your manager/business owner, you both can work together to craft a schedule that allows for work to continue and for your schedule to have flexibility.
- Lastly, do not respond to angry texts and emails from your spouse during work or family time. That can be done within your divorce time. Nothing will disrupt your day more than mean emails and texts. Control this shit. Do not succumb to disruptive communication. Put it in its place! Your divorce time slot. Everything, as much as possible, goes there.
Compartmentalizing Time will give you a better life quality during divorce, and you will have developed a skill that can be used in any conflict. Part of this is Mindfulness, and part of this is simply scheduling. Have the confidence and the courage to take charge of your time.
#time #control #compartmentalizetime #mediation #divorce #depositions #hearings #work #HumanResources #podcast #divorcepodcast #court #divorcecourt #emails #texts #communication #focus #work
Biography
Judith M. Weigle has been a divorce mediator and document preparation service for 11 years as President of Divorce Resource, Inc. in Los Angeles. In that time she has seen people approach divorce in various ways, and has developed the Recipe for a Heart-Healthy Divorce, a four-step strategy to an amicable and productive divorce. Judith has aggregated the four essential steps that she has learned not only from her clients, but from the learned experts on her podcast to provide a successful formula for the best divorce possible.
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-m-weigle-65b1268/
IG @TheAmicableDivorceExpert
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/JudithMWeigle
310.441.7555
Judy@DivorceResourceInc.com
Wednesday Jun 28, 2023
Wednesday Jun 28, 2023
In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast, you will learn the following:
1. What defines Communication
a. Our words
b. Our tone of voice
c. How we physically appear
2. How does bad communication sound?
a. Filled with anger
b. Yelling
c. Arrogant
d. Threatening
3. How does good communication sound?
a. Listening to learn
b. Not interrupting
c. Speaking from the heart, without blame
d. Soft or nonthreatening tone of voice
e. Compassion
f. Asking questions to get a deeper understanding of what your spouse is trying to say
g. If you’re responding to a threatening spouse, keep responses to a minimum, and very neutral; don’t buy into the argument
4. BIFF
a. In-person bad communication: Response (bad to good)
b. Text communication
c. Email communication
d. Timing of bad communication responses
5. Court Communication
a. Judges don’t want to hear you talk shit about your spouse. (Judge Terry Crone and Judge Michele Lowrance)
b. When one party hires a shark lawyer and the other party is self-represented, don’t think there is an inherent disadvantage (Pam Payton)
6. Mediation Communication
a. Get legally educated so you can negotiate from a point of knowledge
b. Look your best
c. Be on time
d. Be prepared
e. Listen without interrupting
f. Don’t grimace or make negative facial gestures
g. Don’t say, “Are you done yet?” in an exasperated way.
h. Don’t cop attitude
i. Don’t fight
Wednesday Jun 21, 2023
Wednesday Jun 21, 2023
In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:
- Settle the Emotional Divorce before Settling the Legal Divorce
- You can make sound legal decisions while emotional
- You’ll spend way too much money on attorneys and court fees when you should be spending money on healing through therapists and coaches
- If you’ve already started filing, but find it too emotionally stressful to participate, ask for everyone involved to grant you some time to process the reasons for the divorce before resuming the filing
- Learn Communication Skills for Conflict
- Even in an amicable divorce you’re going to get triggered and fight
- If you have a high conflict divorce, you can still change the trajectory of the emotion by knowing successful communication techniques
- BIFF is your new best friend
- Compartmentalize Time
- So that your divorce doesn’t consume your life
- To keep focus where it needs to be when you’re at work, when you’re with your children, and when you’re with your family and friends
- To re-establish control in your life
- Develop a Self-Care Program w/Laughter
- Laughter is the Best Medicine for a Hurting Heart
- Physical exercise gets you out of your head because it changes your focus from stressing about the divorce to the activity in which you’re engaged
- Laughter will shock your nervous system in a good way
#divorce #amicabledivorce #highconflictdivorce #emotionaldivorce #emotions #recipe #heart-healthy #money #attorneys #divorcecourt #legaldivorce #BIFF #communication #communicationtechniques #time #compartmentalizetime #self-careprogram #selfcare #control #workstress #MayoClinic #laughterasmedicine #goatyoga #puppyyoga #exercise #podcast #divorcepodcast @JudyWeigle @JudithWeigle @RecipeforaHeartHealthyDivorce
Judith Weigle has been a family law mediator for 11 years, in her business Divorce Resource, Inc. She created Recipe for a Heart-Healthy Divorce after working with divorcing couples who exhibited stress and acrimony in the filing and in the mediation of their settlement. The four ingredients in the Recipe for a Heart-Healthy Divorce will turn your divorce around, even if only one spouses employs these techniques.
Individual Coaching available.
www.Divorce ResourceInc.com
Wednesday Jun 14, 2023
Wednesday Jun 14, 2023
In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast, you will learn the following about Parental Alienation:
- What You Can Do If You Are the Victim of Parental Alienation
- Before the divorce
- Document happy experiences with your children
- Video & audio recordings, artwork
- School Records
- Find an attorney and/or mediator knowledgeable in Parental Alienation
- Test them, question them, make sure they know what you want
- Don’t want vengeance. Always make it about the best interests of the children, not about what happened to you.
- During the Divorce
- COURT TIME
- Always be on your best behavior. Stay calm and rational, even when it hurts
- Never bad mouth your ex to ANYONE
- See a therapist alone
- Know your rights; consult with experts
- Be honest even if your ex isn’t
- Insert in the custody order that the children do not have the right to unilaterally change visiting times.
- Ask for consequences if one parent attempts to align the children against the other parent.
- After the Divorce
- What you should do when the children begin to behave badly towards you
- Stay calm and rational – even if it hurts
- Don’t bad mouth your ex
- Document everything
- Get clear video evidence and make sure the sound and picture are clear
- If you become a target or if they start to ignore the custody times
- Document everything
- Call the police but don’t expect them to do anything and have your court order in your hand when you call them.
- Get a copy of the police report or the report number
- Get a Temporary Restraining Order
- Contempt charges are rare and difficult
- Bring all your evidence to court and have it readily accessible for the judge who should want to view it and read it.
- What you should do when the children begin to behave badly towards you
- COURT TIME
- Document happy experiences with your children
- Before the divorce
#podcast #parentalalienation #court #evidence #legalrights #co-parenting #custody #childsupport #witnesses #mediator #attorney #parentchildrelationship #divorce #emotions #police #Judge #temporaryrestariningorder #activist #bestbehavior #communication #conflictcommunication #courtpreparation #beforedivorce #duringdivorce #afterdivorce @RonBerglas @TheAmicableDivorceExpert
RON BERGLAS Biography
Ron Berglas is a mediator with Magnum Mediation. Ron is also the Chair of the Parental Alienation Legislative Group. Together with his colleague Dr. Lynn Steinberg and a group of like-minded alienated parents, they have focused their despair at losing their children to the malign intentions of their former partners into a driving force to enact legislation that would require all mental health practitioners who work with children to be educated in parental alienation. They also continue to combat through legislative action the plethora of misinformation campaigns that have appeared recently that deny the existence of parental alienation.
The Parental Alienation Legislative Group together with PASI, Parental Alienation Syndrome
Intervention, is run by Joan Kloth-Zanard in New York, New York to oversee our 501C3.
Magnum Mediation
909-283-3991
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/ron-berglas-04
Parental Alienation website: www.palgandpasi.org
Wednesday Jun 07, 2023
Wednesday Jun 07, 2023
In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:
- How to identify if you are or were held hostage in your marriage.
- How to identify a cult-like mentality.
- How you can be seduced by someone who wants to control you.
- What seduction is like, and why it begins the process of control.
- How you become a slave to your spouse in your relationship.
- Neither education nor intelligence have anything to do with being seduced and held hostage in the relationship.
- What love bombing is and how it is part of the seduction process to establish the hostage relationship.
- How and when we give our power away to someone else.
- Are you making choices against your own best interests, and compromising your values?
- If you’re in a cult-like relationship questioning the other person is not possible.
- Extricating yourself from a cult-like marriage or divorce.
- Own your story and drop your shame.
#hostage #cult #relationshiphostage #lovebombing #seduction #control #selfexpression #budget #allowmance #money #jointbankaccount #slave #values #heldhostage #marriage #divorce #compromise #higherlifepurpose #author #cultmember #relationship #DalaiLama #doubt #selfexploration #selfdoubt #vulnerable #courage #shame #lifechoices #survival #failure @DalaiLama @KellyThiel
Biography
Kelly Thiel, author of Unapologetically Glorious, and featured in the documentary series “Seduced” speaks on her experience as part of a cult, how it began and how it ended. Kelly is an accomplished voice actress, author, speaker, consultant, and survivor of the notorious NXIVM cult. Kelly speaks around the world about her personal journey on conquering her own trauma to, in turn, help men and women facing similar adversaties or traumas to conquer their own and rediscover themselves.
IG: @TheKellyThiel
Wednesday May 31, 2023
Wednesday May 31, 2023
In this 2023 episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast, you will learn the following:
Trust is a concern in every relationship. From the trust we place in our restaurant takeout orders being correct, to the trust we place in our children when they’re not in our care, to the trust we place in our medical professionals, the clergy, to the huge trust we place in our spouses to always behave in a way that is respectful, caring, and protective of us.
When our trust is broken in any of our important relationships, we’re crushed. Our whole emotional and physical systems quiver. We are emotionally off-balance. We are no longer comfortable in those relationships.
Now divorce is imminent. And trust is on the line. We second-guess ourselves because we no longer trust our decision-making. All sorts of questions run through our minds: “Did we really know the person we married? Did we miss clues that should have made us suspicious? Was it something I did and didn’t realize it was causing a problem?” Or, if there was no event that broke the marriage, just two people growing apart, distrust still creeps in because divorce is generally a foreign environment, a language filled with words we don’t typically use, and we have to make really important decisions about money, co-parenting, and living as single people again. Fear rears its ugly head and distrust is the new emotion.
Trust can take on a whole new meaning in our lives if we start with trusting ourselves to be able to deal with the divorce, the future, and a new life. Life is full of challenges, and divorce is one of them. We can get through any challenge if we find a support system of professionals who can put fear and distrust in its place, and help create a foundation in us to tap into our inner strength and resilience, and respond to the decision-making in divorce in an affirmative, focused, honest way.
We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We may need the help of a divorce coach or a therapist to bring that resilience forward, but it’s there in every one of us.
If your marriage is ending simply because you’ve both grown apart, distrust still makes its way into your brains because you are no longer working as a team, a unit moving forward together. You are now two individuals who are dividing your stuff, expensive stuff, stuff that was accumulated over quite a few years. You’re not used to this dynamic. The brain goes into protective mode, fight or flight, and you no longer trust each other, even though neither of you have done anything to breach trust.
In this case, remember, you are the same good people you have been. No need to distrust one another. But definitely a time to assert the personal power you have and be vocal, be supportive of yourself, be kind and generous, but be mindful that you are both equally scared, regardless of the posturing of the other spouse. Everyone is scared. No one is secure in divorce.
Trust in yourself will allow you to trust someone else again.
#trust #honesty #divorce #podcast #relationships #communication #fear #distrust #marriage #adultery #infidelity #emotion
Wednesday May 24, 2023
Wednesday May 24, 2023
Divorce is a series of decisions. Starting with the emotional tone of the divorce: Are you filing while you’re angry and wanting to hurt your spouse, or do you look at your divorce as a necessary life change that can help both you and your spouse to grow better? It’s never a good idea to start the filing until you’ve calmed down, gone through the divorce grief stages, maybe, possibly, hopefully forgiven yourself and/or your spouse.
The centerpiece to all of the decisions in a divorce is honesty. When both spouses can talk before filing and sort out their feelings honestly, the settlement will be so much easier. It still may take some negotiating, but the conversation will be easier because the emotions of the divorce have been settled. It’s those unresolved emotions that affect the tone of the divorce, the litigious extent of the divorce, and the financial cost of the divorce.
A more correct reality of the marriage and why it has to conclude unfolds in a heartfelt conversation to end the marriage. Blame is stripped away. Anger subsides, forgiveness and understanding move into our hearts when we can openly, honestly, and without blame or justification for past actions and decisions, simply speak from each spouse’s perspective. Everyone has their own perspective on the meaning and purpose of events that shape our lives; and that perspective must be spoken and accepted. People can look at one event and process it differently.
The important conversation may come at different points in the settling of the emotional part of the divorce. It may not come in the very first conversation. It may come after several conversations, but when it does come, it will change the trajectory of the divorce, and the way each spouse thinks of each other and behaves towards each other going forward.
It’s crucial that the divorce is used to grow. Growing in a way that allows for more self-awareness so that the next relationship fulfills people in a more specific way. Or if no other relationship is sought, then let it be growth that simply reveals parts of oneself that help in the overall journey in this life.
#emotionalintelligence #communication #amicable #amicabledivorce #forgiveness #honesty #emotionaldivorce #anger #blame #grief #personalgrowth #growth #podcast #divorcepodcast #conversation
Wednesday May 17, 2023
Wednesday May 17, 2023
In this 2023 episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:
- How to detect financial abuse in the marriage
- What to do with financial abuse in the divorce
- Emotional Abuse and Money
- Physical Abuse and Money
- How to pay your attorney with no access to money
- Court order for legal fees
- Transparency in declaring assets
- What Forensic Accountants do
- Marital Estate Chart
- When litigation is needed
- The importance of reviewing financial documents for each transaction
- When to hire a larger firm or a sole practitioner
- How to handle the fear of asking for a divorce in an abusive marriage
- The importance of having a therapist or divorce coach as a support system
- Order of Protection for physical abuse
- How and when to serve the Petition for divorce on the abusive spouse
#financialabuse #jointbankaccounts #creditcards #allowance #physicalabuse #emotionalabuse #marriage #divorce #breadwinner #finances #wageearner #control #accesstomoney #childcare #taxreturns #taxfiling #financialpressure #mindset #finacialmindset #dishonesty #budgeting #budget #financiallydisadvantagedspouse #initialretainer #equality #legalrights #legalfees #court #incarceration #Judge’sorders #assets #transparency #forensicaccountant #fear
@LisaZeiderman
Biography of Lisa Zeiderman, Esq.
Lisa Zeiderman is Managing Partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, based in New York. A matrimonial attorney, CFL and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, she regularly handles complex financial and custody divorce matters, as well as pre- and post-nuptial agreements for high-net-worth individuals.
In addition to authoring a well-read blog on Psychology Today, “Legal Matters: Understanding Mental Health Issues as They Apply to Divorce and Child Custody,” Ms. Zeiderman is regularly published in Financial Advisor Magazine, the New York Law Journal, and Forbes. She is also regularly interviewed on issues ranging from financial empowerment to complex tax issues and child custody, and has been featured in a host of media from The Wall Street Journal to Kiplinger’s, as well as on a multitude of podcasts.
914 455 1000
LinkedIn: (99+) Lisa Zeiderman, Esq | LinkedIn --@lisazeiderman
Instagram: @lisazeiderman
Facebook: @lisazeidermanesq
Twitter @lisazeiderman
Wednesday May 10, 2023
Wednesday May 10, 2023
In this 2023 episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast, you will learn the following:
- Living longer lives makes it harder to grow old together
- Women initiate divorce more than me
- Different reasons why people file for divorce after a long-term marriage
- Women’s income will decrease by 40% in her 60’s, and men by 23%
- Focus on using a financial expert to help split a pension properly
- #1 mistake women make: thinking they have to keep the family home
- How to budget for the future
- Divorce can provide an opportunity to live the life you’ve always wanted to live
- Identifying Needs vs Wants in financial planning
- Establish financial safety nets before filing for divorce
- The importance of running 3 credit reports in preparation for divorce
- Desired Lifestyle vs Available Income
- When to take Social Security. How to determine social security. How to equalize social security for both spouses.
- Emotional Money Block and Your Money Story
- How do your values align with your relationship to money?
- Long-term care for women
#women #money #educate #financial #divorce #greydivorce #income #longtermmarriage #longtermcare #lifeinsurance #annuity #budget #creditreport #socialsecurity #moneyblock #emotionalmoneyblock #selfworth #values #lifestyle #financialplanning #women #pension #financialsafetynet #podcast #2023 #episode #financialcoach #CPA @LindaLingo
Linda Lingo is an authority on women building wealth. Her successful 35-year career in corporate America and her 10 years as a Financial Advisor has given her practical experience, radical knowledge and a deep understanding of the best ways to manage money for the modern-day woman.
Linda has served as the treasurer of The Women’s Fund, Assertive Women Entrepreneurs and Women of Vision. She has been active in Soroptimist International, and Girls Inc. She also supports women-owned businesses as an Activator with SheEO, and is active in the National Cinderella to CEO Awards Program.
Linda Lingo, Financial Coach & CPA
530-710-8301
Wednesday May 03, 2023
Wednesday May 03, 2023
In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast you will learn:
- Age of Children
- Polarity of Parenting Styles
- Conflict with Ex-spouse
- Over-attachment of Non-custodial parent to child
- Over-attachment of biological parent to child
- There are more Blended Families than First Families.
- Co-habitation rates are soaring, making blended families hard to track.
- When single parents start dating, step-family dynamics start at this point.
- Children grieve the loss of the family, just like parents grieve the loss of the marriage.
- Family Mission Statement
#stepparent #stepparentcoach #blendedfamilies #exspouse #childsupport #cohabitation #dating #noncustodialparent #custodialparent #parentingstyles #author #biologicalparent #conflict #parentalalienation #familymissionstatements #consequences #rules #punishment #siblingrivalry #attachment #overattachment @JudyGraybill
Judy Graybill: links, contact info, and bio
free mini e-book, The 5 Biggest Risks of Conflict in Blended Families: https://tinyurl.com/5BlendedFamilyRisks
FB group for women in stepfamilies: https://tinyurl.com/TheWholeisticStepfamily
website: https://judygraybill.com
email: hello@judygraybill.com
Instagram: @judy.m.graybill
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/judygraybill
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judygraybill/
MeWe: https://mewe.com/i/judymgraybill
As a Relationship Healer and Certified Stepfamily Coach, Judy Graybill is skilled at identifying where couples get stuck. She helps them develop the mindset, strategy, and action plan to establish long-term harmony, deeper intimacy, and a stronger partnership. She’s also speaks, writes, facilitates in-person workshops, and is co-founder of the group, The Wholistic Stepfamily. Get details and free resources at www.JudyGraybill.com.