THE Amicable Divorce Expert with Judith Weigle

For People to Care About You, Care About Yourself First

In this episode you will learn the following:

 

1. Divorce will unhinge anyone. It’s how people deal with divorce that will benefit them in their divorce and after.

 

2. You need the professionals who you hire for the divorce to care about you.

 

3. You need your soon-to-be former spouse to care about you as a co-parent if you have minor children, and as a negotiator when you work on your divorce settlement.

 

4. How do you get those involved in the divorce to care about you?

 

5. What does it mean to care about yourself first?

 

6. How can the spouse who has been dominant in the marriage change so that that person shows themselves to be caring and concerned about the outcome of the divorce settlement?

 

7. How can the submissive spouse have a different voice negotiating the divorce settlement.

 

8. How do you cause those you’ve hired for the divorce to stop caring about you and only care about the money they’re making?

 

9. How self-care influences better relationships?

 

10. The importance of communication throughout the divorce process.

 

#selfcare #caring #relationships #communication #settlementagreement #negotiations #mediators #mediation #divorcecoach #therapists #coparenting #fear #podcast #divorcepodcast

How to Negotiate Support

Spousal Support

1. Even though child support is considered more important than spousal support/alimony, spousal support is much harder to deal with both for the spouses and the legal professionals who provide service: Attorneys, Mediators, Divorce Coaches, Document Preparation person, Therapists.
2. History of spousal support
3. Not gender-driven, while gender plays a huge role when the woman makes more than the man.
4. Reasons for spousal support
5. How to Prepare for the Mediation for spousal support
6. The Negotiation
7. Payor Spouse Offer and Responses
8. Recipient Spouse Offer and Response

 

Child Support

1. Monthly Amount vs Miscellaneous Expenses. The big wrinkle in child support is the time spent with the children by each parent. The time spent with each parent influences the monthly amount if your state uses a state approved calculator.
2. Negotiable Issues
3. How to Negotiate
   1. Don’t disparage the other spouse
   2. Don’t punish the other spouse by proposing a restrictive schedule if the other parent has been a dialed in parent.
   3. Make the discussion child-focused. Think of what it will be like for your child to move between houses.
   4. Come to the mediation to compromise. Otherwise, schedule a Hearing to have a Judge make decisions for you.
   5. Speak respectfully to your spouse. Lower your tone of voice. Don’t stress out; let your mediator do their job to balance the conversation.
   6. But don’t let yourself be controlled or bullied.

 

#spousalsupport #alimony #childsupport #childfocused #mediation #divorce #divorcesettlement #lawyer #mediator #specialmaster #divorcecoach #therapist #communication #negotiate #divorcenegotiation #payorspouse #recipientspouse

Can anyone Take the High Road in Divorce? w/Andy Heller, author, businessman

Episode 250: Can anyone Take the High Road in Divorce? w/Andy Heller, author, businessman

 

1. Define High Road as it pertains to divorce

 

2. What is the crucial hole in the self-help space that you saw with your own divorce, and wanted to fill with your book?

 

3. Topics that aren’t covered a lot in divorce podcasts, and are in your book
   1. Why shouldn’t one spouse speak badly about the other spouse, especially their mental health assessment of the other spouse?
   2. When to hold and when to fold in co-parenting?
   3. The two categories of advice givers
   4. Injecting Fun into the co-parenting even if you’re the disciplinarian
   5. How much should you tell your children about the marriage and the reason for divorce?
   6. Outsourcing parental tasks to spend more quality time with the children
   7. Receiving gratitude and appreciation from your spouse in the co-parenting give-and-take (Taking the High Road) pg. 210
   8. Establishing Communication Guidelines (Bill Eddy)
   9. Hire a Special Master for on-going co-parenting decisions and issues that will come up after the divorce is final

 

#divorce #coparenting #author #podcast #amicabledivorce #divorcepodcast #specialmaster #therapist #childcustody #BillEddy #BIFF #outsource #children #marriage #communicationguidelines #advice #advicegivers #disciplinarian #mentalhealth

 

ANDY HELLER Biography

 

While navigating through his own divorce Andy read countless support books to help him navigate through the process.   While helpful, Andy identified a crucial hole in the self-help space for men and women navigating through divorce.  Andy’s book “Take the High Road, Divorce with Compassion for Yourself and Your Family” is his give back with a stated goal of making the divorce process easier for those who are considering or who are on the divorce path. 

 

Several factors make his book truly groundbreaking.  First, Andy brings a businessman’s objective perspective into his counsel.  Andy interviewed attorneys, divorcees, therapists, co-parenting counselors, mediators, special masters, and others to arrive at advice and guidance from the leading industry experts.   Andy presents the guidance in 46 strategies, tools, and tips that armed with the experience and counsel of these experts, the readers can themselves, hopefully their former spouses, and most importantly their children land in a healthier place in the months and years after the conclusion of their divorces.

 

https://www.facebook.com/takethehighroadbook

 

https://www.instagram.com/andyhheller/

 

www.takethehighroaddivorce.com

 

andy@takethehighroaddivorce.com 

How to Create Amicable Co-Parenting Plans

I. Include everything in the marital settlement agreement and refer to the settlement agreement to avoid arguments
 
II. Avoid Arguments by Looking at all Aspects of the Co-Parenting Relationship
a. Third Party to pick children up from school or after school event
b. Pick-up Late Clause
c. Asking for co-parent’s help in the other co-parent’s house
d. When children don’t want to go to other parent’s house
e. Attending children’s school events, sitting together
f. Introducing new partner to other parent and the children
g. Moving your address to another county, or more than 20 miles away from their school
h. Provisional clause if the payor loses their job
i.     Include a meeting with a Parenting Plan Coordinator, or a Divorce Coach, or a therapist    who specializes in the co-parent relationship for post-divorce issues  pg. 51-52 
 
III. Have a joint bank account for children’s expenses
a. Discuss all activities well ahead of when money has to be provided
b. Keep a minimum balance in the account, and deposit money one month ahead of when needed, if possible
c. Both parents’ names should be on the account
 
IV. How to Create a Good Co-Parenting Schedule
a. Consider the children’s school and activity schedule first, and then look at how the parents can support that schedule
b. Do not insist on 50/50 time share if you can’t spend time with your child
c. Make child support money secondary to the relationship you’re building with your child. In a mediated settlement agreement you can choose however you want to construct the financial support of your children.
 
V. Addiction and Behavioral Issues
a. Legal advice
b. Speak up; don’t avoid this discussion just to avoid an argument or to get the divorce finalized
c. Put provisions in place if the substance-challenged spouse waivers on staying clean

How to Co-Parent “Gifted” Children

In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert you will learn the following:

 

1. Define Terms under the label of Gifted
   1. High-functioning Learning Disabled
   2. Gifted
   3. Neorodivergent
   4. Down Syndrome
   5. Autistic
   6. Retarded
   7. Dyslexic
2. Communication
   1. How do children and their parents communicate the children’s needs
3. Socializing within a Gifted and Neurodivergent Community
4. How do divorcing spouses co-parent if one of the parents is resistant to their child’s needs and diagnosis

 

#giftedchildren #neurodivergent #coparents #coparenting #learningdisabled #dyslexic @autistic #downsyndrome #communication #socialskills #education #legalcustody #diagnosis #resistance #school #RainMan #savant #catalogueing #testing #genetic

 

 

Biography for Meghan Bonde

 

Meghan Bonde is a Tedx speaker, neurodiversity specialist, founder of Team Neurodivergent, and an award-winning speech language pathologist who proudly identifies as Gifted and Neurodivergent.  She provides coaching, consulting, courses, and workshops to empower Neurodivergent people to leverage their many strengths and thrive emotionally.  Meghan is a passionate dancer, writer, reader, artist, and activist, finding inspiration in nature and her remarkable, Neurodivergent family.

www.teamneurodivergent.com

https://www.facebook.com/teamneurodivergent

https://www.linkedin.com/company/tngifted

Compartmentalize Emotion

In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:

 

1. That emotions will run rampant throughout the divorce.

 

2. How to manage those emotions.

 

3. The benefit in managing those emotions.

 

4. The timing of dealing with those emotions.

 

5. The importance of grieving before filing

 

6. The 7 stages of divorce grief, and the significance of Forgiveness.

 

#emotions #grieving #managingemotions #timing #griefstages #forgiveness #filing #emotionaldivorce #legaldivorce #acceptance

Pet Custody in Divorce: Are We Barking Up the Right Tree?

In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast, you will learn the following:

 

1. Different states have different laws.

 

2. New California law for pet custody: Best Interests of the Pets

 

https://minellalawgroup.com/blog/how-the-new-pet-custody-law-works-in-california/

 

3. How to Mediate Pet Custody
   1. Prior ownership
   2. Attachment between animal and pet owner
   3. Living arrangements post-divorce
   4. Dividing animals post-divorce
   5. Long Distance care
   6. Ability of each pet owner to be a responsible pet parent
   7. The financial capability of the pet parents to provide proper care

 

4. Words of Advice

 

#animals #pets #petcustody #petinsurance #petcare #animal laws #divorce #legalseparation #animaltrainers #mediation #grieving #animalgrieving #animalcare #bestinterestsoftheanimals #longdistancecare

Dishonesty is the D word in Divorce

In this Episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:

 

1. Why Fear is part of Divorce

 

2. The importance of being honest with all aspects of the divorce

 

3. An easy way of researching assets and debts to verify accuracy in your spouse’s Discovery

 

4. Why lying on Income Tax Reports will come back to haunt you

 

5. How Honesty in the financial part of the divorce will benefit everyone

 

6. How being Honest with yourself can benefit the divorce, the co-parenting relationship, and your emotional and physical health

 

#honesty #lie #lying #incometaxreport #childsupport #spousalsupport #alimony #health #divorce #lawyers #forensicaccontants #fear

Did You Marry the Wrong Person? w/Coach Carrie Cohen, Psychotherapist

In this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you will learn the following:

 

1. How do you know if you married the wrong person?

 

2. The age at which we marry matters.

 

3. When do you call it quits?

 

4. Is the idea of being a young parent the same now as it used to be years ago?

 

5. When should a married couple have children?

 

6. How should a married couple be aligned before becoming parents?

 

7. Should one spouse share with their spouse that they may have made a wrong decision to marry?

 

8. When you meet someone who fulfills you differently than your husband or wife, what do you do if the marriage has seemed to be fine until that point?

 

9. How do you get out of the victim role in a lopsided power dynamic?

 

10. Do you know who you are and what you bring to the relationship?

 

1. How to reach Forgiveness?

 

#marriage #forgiveness #stagesofgrief #co-parenting #divorce #parents #growth #hope #victim #YinYang #marriagecoach #relationship #relationshipexpert #powerdynamic #psychotherapist #podcast #divorcepodcast #love #happiness @CoachCarrieCohen @JudithWeigle @TheAmicableDivorceExpert

 

CARRIE COHEN Biography

 

As a Licensed Psychotherapist for 25 years, a Marriage Coach and Relationship Expert, Carrie Cohen helps couples go from “I want a divorce” to “I didn’t know I could love this deeply.” 

 

Working with clients all over the globe, Carrie has helped over 400 couples heal the stress and trauma that have eroded their relationship, revitalize their love for one another and create a marriage that lasts a lifetime. 

 

In addition to Carrie’s 15+ years of post-graduate training specifically in couples therapy, her approach to her work is holistically based.  Carrie is also trained in Polyvagal Therapy, certified in Clinical Hypnotherapy, is a Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, an Integrative Health Coach and a Certified Nutrition Coach.  

 

Email: cc@carriecohencoaching

Website: www.carriecohencoaching.com

IG: @carriecohencoaching https://instagram.com/carriecohencoaching?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==

LI: Carrie Cohen https://www.linkedin.com/in/carriecohencoaching

 

The Secret Power of Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness is one of the 7 Stages of Divorce Grief
   1. It’s the last stage and the most important one in order to release anger, bring serenity, and become whole again. “Through the act of forgiveness, we cleanse ourselves  of the pain and anger that kept us stuck in the past,” Dan Mager, Therapist, in an article in Psychology Today.
   2. Forgiveness is for the one forgiving. People mistaken forgiveness as an a get-out-of-jail free card that releases the other person from the responsibility of their actions. That’s not it at all. Forgiveness releases the forgiver from the shackles of intense hatred, toxic feelings, and unending bad feelings about the perpetrator of those feelings. These feelings can last years after the divorce is final.
   3. You’re not done grieving until you’ve forgiven your ex-spouse.
   4. Read the Harvard article
2. Mayo Clinic article
3. There are also health benefits attributed to  forgiveness, both Mental and Physical. Let’s explore those benefits.
   1. 1. Mental Health Benefits
         1. You are no longer angry
         2. You are no longer depressed
         3. You feel joy again
         4. Hope enters your heart
         5. Your mind is free to be positive
         6. Your spirit sings
         7. You feel like loving again
      2. Physical Health Benefits (HopkinsMedicine.org)
         
         1. Lowers the risk of heart attack
         2. Lowers blood pressure
         3. Improves cholesterol levels
         4. Allow for better sleep
         5. Lowers blood pressure
         6. Better immune response
      3. From Kaitlin Sullivan for Everyday Health (read)
      4. World Forgiveness Day by Rob Horel (read)
4. Bottom Line
   1. Forgiveness isn’t a competition. It doesn’t matter who forgives each other first. It matters that you forgive as soon as you’re able so that you can release the toxicity of anger and become a healthy, happy person again.
   2. If you’re co-parenting after a divorce, I think forgiveness has to be top of your list.
   3. But here’s the hardest part of forgiveness, honesty.  Maybe you were wrong, too. Consider that you may have known you weren’t making the right decision to marry you’re now soon-to-be former spouse. That’s happened a lot. I watch people in mediation negotiating out of anger, and then eventually tell me, in confidence, that they knew this wasn’t the absolute right person for them, and married them anyway. And now they want to blame their spouse for being who they are. Hmmmm…a tiger doesn’t change their stripes.